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Anonymous asked: Petey - What does it look like to be "called to do something"? I've been really struggling with this lately. I can look back in my life and see God acting in my life or opening doors, but while I'm making an important decision I seem to be lost. I often pray about it, but I'm almost embarrassed to say that I don't know lead by God one way or another. I was wondering what you do when you have an important life decision. Thanks for the help!

That’s a great question.

We live in a world of unprecedented choices and I think we all want to know that what we are doing is what God wants us to do. Or at least, on some level, that it’s the “right” thing to do. 

So if you’ll allow, I’d love to start by pushing on two pretty pervasive thoughts that I believe are lies:

1. One answer is right, or what God wants and the other answer is wrong, or against God’s “will.” Why is the wrong? When we put too much emphasis on one decision in our lives, we make that moment a moment of salvation. If you marry Joe, he’s not going to be your savior. If you marry Tom, he’s not going to be your savior. What God wants is for us to know him, worship him, and take stands for his causes in the world. That’s the story the Bible is telling. The day to day decisions, big and small, have been given to us as incredibly creative stewards of God’s work in the world. The question is, “are you going to love God and stand up for his love & justice in the world?” Can you do that with either choice? yes? then take courage that God’s given you tremendous creativity and freedom to choose.

2. When you have an important decision, bring it before God in prayer and he’ll (maybe) give you an answer. What’s wrong here? God’s not the star of Aladdin. We often treat God as if he’s a personal genie who’s on our side, and we treat prayer as a way of rubbing the lamp and getting our 3 wishes. Now here me say that I believe we do submit our hard decisions to God but prayer is about aligning ourselves with God so that when we make important decisions, we’re seeing the world through the lenses of God’s desire for the world. When we’re praying in such a way that we’re living, acting, thinking, desiring, and wanting on behalf of God in the world, then our decisions will be made in tune with the Kingdom of God.

One of the issues with comparing Biblical times to our times is that no one in Jesus’ day had a plethora of options. Who will I marry? What will I do for a living? Where will I live?

People in Jesus’s day didn’t have to choose between Atlanta and Dallas, lawyering or doctoring, or Mary or Susie. 

I say that to say this: There’s a lot of freedom to choose in our world and the Bible simply doesn’t speak directly to those things. When the people we read about in the Bible speak about God’s will, God’s plan, or what God wants for our life, they’re generally not speaking about whether we should be a banker or an elementary teacher. 

They’re talking about whether or not we’re going to participate in the work of God in the world. And honestly, we can do that from a multitude of places. Is one more right than the other, or better than the other? Not necessarily. I think we often make decisions based on our safety, security, wants and desires instead of based on God’s desire for humanity—to know him.

So I would say there’s a few things I hope for when discerning.

Pray. As a way of life. When we are going through the daily rhythms of prayer, we start to want what God’s want. And when you make decisions based on what God wants (remember: his creation to know him, worship him, and stand on his behalf), then you’ll make good decision.

Ask good questions that start with the heart of God. In talking about marriage with people who really want to follow Jesus, I always start by asking if they feel they’ll better be able to know and follow Jesus better together than they could apart. I hope the answer is yes. When looking at careers, I always advocate for people to exhaust their “secular” career choices before going into paid ministry work. Is there a vocation you’re good at where you can excel and love others generously through your time, talents, and presence? Is there something you love and can make a living doing? 
You also have to ask good questions about motives. What’s the end gain here? More opportunities to live into the work of God? Or an opportunity to make more money, etc.?

In closing, I’d encourage you not to be embarrassed when you feel like you don’t have a clear calling. Embrace the ambiguity and continue to seek Jesus. Make a decision and realize that the decision is not your savior.

When we talk about “personal calling,” we need to be careful. God’s not participating in the story of us, we’re participating in the story of God. Let that guide your hopes, dreams, desires, and yes—choices.